I know that's not the way the quote goes. I think it's "You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching..." but when have I ever done something the way someone else suggests it should be done? We all know that it's rare. And really, who cares if no one is watching or if the whole world has you under a magnifying glass? Just dance!! I've been thinking about this a lot lately as I cruise through these first few weeks since diagnosis.
I have gotten a lot of comments on how well I have handled 'the news' and how my attitude will help me through this. I believe in the power of positive thinking, but I really think this is on a whole different level. I had a thought the other night that I wonder if I've been so optimistic through this process just to reassure my friends and family that I will be ok... And I realized that it definitely is part of it all. When I got the news, I immediately knew that the way I react is the lead my family and friends will follow. Sometimes when I'm home at night alone, I wonder if I'm on the brink of completely losing it any minute. And then I realize that it's not the case. Sure, I do feel responsible for making sure my kids handle this well and that my family and friends bear as little burden as possible. Really, though, I just feel like this is just a blip on the screen of life and a hurdle to jump and move on down the road. And I intend to move through it with confidence and enthusiasm. If I know you are all watching, it gives me plenty of motivation to keep this attitude when I feel like crap. I plan on dancing like the whole world is watching.
Yes, I blog for me, but really, I blog for you too. I want one more woman to get a mammogram...I want one more man to make his girlfriend/wife/mother/daughter go get that stupid lump tested...I want one more newly diagnosed cancer patient to see the world as I do and dance with me through the ugliness that cancer brings.
Speaking of what cancer brings, I'll post separately about my tests/results/plan...Coming soon to a blog near you!
xoxo Shelley
Oh honey. I have actually worried about you feeling like you need to be "positive Shelley" through all of this. Please don't worry about us. You are there to support people so much, just be yourself and experience your experience as it comes. We are strong enough to handle whatever you are going through!
ReplyDeleteThat said, I understand that it can be a good challenge to know that people are counting on you. During this year of being a single parent, something things come up that feel like they might break me. And I always say to myself "Nope! This isn't going to be the thing that makes me weak! This isn't going to be it!" and so far it was worked. And we are 1/3rd of the way there.
I know that a deployment is nothing like what you are going through, but just let yourself be human in the midst of this...without stopping being a total badass!
I love you!
jb