Countdown to the New Year!!

Ok, so I'm a little behind on posts and I realize that I totally skipped over the holidays! To keep it simple, I had an amazing Christmas at home with my amazing kidlets and some special friends. My New Year's was spent celebrating in the warmth of my 'cocoon', but overall, the holidays were low key and a time for reflection and resolution. I counted down to 2012 with some of my absolute favorite people. We ate good food, enjoyed each other's company over a game of Apples to Apples and popped the cork of a bottle of Veuve Cliquot at midnight-ish. We had a great breakfast and even built a fire on New Year's Day :)

Any New Year's party that ends in slippers by a campfire HAS to be good! :) 

But let's be honest. As much as I thought I was, I wasn't really ready for a new year. I spent the last week of the old year and the first week of the new one with a horrible upper respiratory infection that scared the living daylights out of me (do you know how scary the simplest things can be when you know you have virtually NO immune system?) I finally got it under control with an antibiotic, but this was the first time I was really 'sick' since the cancer diagnosis. I realize that I wasn't really any sicker than I would normally be this time of year with two kids bringing every germ known to man into our house, BUT it's just different. Trust me.

On a way more positive note, I really made peace with some things that have gotten under my skin (completely non-cancer related) over this past year. I love moving into 2012 with a clear mind, a full heart, and a stronger sense of self than ever before. But I'm still not ready for the new year. Not yet. I've got exactly 13 days until I'm ready to start celebrating and really another 25 after that until my New Year begins. 4 days ago, I realized that the end of my treatment is rapidly approaching and announced my countdown on Facebook. It was 17 days and 3 chemo rounds from the end of 'treatment'. I am speechless (shocking, I know) at the number of people who have joined me in this countdown and overwhelmed with emotion by the people who are actively involved with me :) I love you guys!!! xoxo My awesome friend Erin M has been counting down with some throwback videos that get stuck in my head EVERY day, ALL day. I highly suggest you watch them. So here's a recap of my countdown so far and I'm taking you all with me EVERY DAY from here until ZERO!!

1/9/12-Only 17 Days out!:

-I announce my countdown and over 100 people join my countdown-thanks cocoon!!

-EM sent me this awesome video:

1/10/12-Sweet Sixteen:


-Eric reminds me first thing in the morning (and he lives in Colorado!) that it's 16 :) It's so nice to know that I'm not even close to alone in this countdown!
-My mom reminds me: "I remember when you were sweet 16! Running cross country, playing basketball,and on the Prom court. Love you Honey!"  I'll take 39, still running, too short for hoops and happy hour over prom any day! (but I love the memories!)
-Erin sends the next video and promises "Yes, you will be getting one of these every day. You. Are. Welcome." :) :

1/11/12-Pocket Change 15:


-Eric showed up AGAIN to make 15 days seem like pocket change...three nickels, or a dime and a nickel, or ten pennies and a nickel, or a dime and five pennies, or 15 pennies...no matter what way you slice it, it's still pocket change!! 15 days to go!!!
-I had an extremely emotional visit with Dr. Sharma, my oncologist. First of all, Brian (who used to check my weight and bp on every visit) tracked me down in the waiting room to tell me that he started running (he's tall and fit anyway, but wanted to start running) because of me and is now running 3-5 miles a day at a 7:20-7:30 pace! I'm working on getting him on the trails now! 


I got to see Jennifer and Yvonne who are just amazing women who make me smile and laugh on every single visit. We talked leggings and boots, kids, earrings and short hair-do's. And of course, I got to see Dr. Sharma. She was in India for the month of December so I haven't seen her in a while. She came into the patient room and with a look of shock said "Wow! You have a lot of hair!" :) She also spent a very short visit doing a breast exam (yes, I get felt up on every visit-it's part of the deal), talking plastic surgeons and then announced 'Well, 3 more rounds of chemo and then I'll see you after surgery'. Her hand was on the doorknob and I yelled "Wait!! Um, well, is that it? I mean, how am I doing??" Her response was that I am fantastic and that I have been and continue to be her poster child. She couldn't ask for anything better. That felt pretty damn good :)


Wow. That's it. I can honestly say that although I will see them all every 3 months for a while to get follow up checks, I am really going to miss them!! Don't get me wrong, I don't need a reason to go see them. I have a feeling I will be making fairly regular granola deliveries anyway :) But they have made more difference in my life than they know. Thank you guys :)

-Erin did not disappoint. I love this one :) : 

1/12/12-Chemo Day! Counting UP and DOWN:

-I decided it was a perfect time to count UP and DOWN. 14 days UP, 14 rounds DOWN. 2 rounds left, 2 weeks left... How long 2 weeks is depends completely on your attitude toward it (like most things in life) :)

-I got the following email from someone (who shall remain nameless) which was intended to help me count down and served as 'literary therapy' for him as well. It made my day start on the right foot for sure!:

"14 days.  Two weeks.  That sounds like a definite period of time, right?  I don’t think so.  When I was 4 years old waiting for Christmas on December 11th, two weeks was an eternity.  14 days with each one taking longer to pass than the last.             

 Unfortunately we all grow up and two weeks, even the two weeks before Christmas, can pass in the blink of an eye.  We have all heard it and most of us have even said it, “the days, weeks, months go by faster every year.”  For me this was true.  From my late 20’s into my 30’s I was in a rut.  Each week a copy of the last.  Looking back it feels like entire months were just skipped over.  I fear what I could have missed had I stayed in that rut any longer.  But I was jolted from that rut.

             Jolted may not be a strong enough word.  In fact, it is not even close to strong enough.  We all know “bad” things happen.  Even when they are oh so unexpected.  One of these “bad” things happened to me.  The jolt that felt like the world was falling down around me.  But a funny thing happened, the world did not fall down at all.  And while I stumbled, I remain standing too.

             Being set free from my rut, I know now that 2 weeks is a fantastic amount of time.  It is enough time to make a new friendship, strengthen an old one, set a goal, accomplish that same goal, try something new and do something you have always enjoyed.  2 weeks, 14 days.  It may be the perfect period of time.  14 days, 2 weeks.  

            What am I going to do in the next two weeks?  The choices are endless, but if I get it right, the next 14 days will pass at the pace which can be enjoyed and cherished.  Because that “bad” thing that happened to me, may have been what I needed the most.  I am out of my rut, blazing new trail and enjoying all the ups and downs along the way."

I can honestly say that his perspective sure inspired me and I can honestly say that making a new friendship with him was time well spent :) 

-I spent the day with the most AMAZING group of people!! Adam was my chemo date and we shared Dolce scones and cinnamon rolls. He leaves for Brazil for 2 weeks today and I'm going to miss him!!! James brought me his AMAZING pineapple oatmeal cookies and joined us later for lunch. Coleen and Erik met us for lunch at Genessee Royale Bistro in the West Bottoms and it was delicious!!! Then I ran over to see my buddies at Studiobuild to deliver them granola. Thanks for the trade-Love you guys!! On my way home, I called my work partners and they were having a meeting so I got to actually participate in something work related for the first time in 2 1/2 months! And I've missed them both so much :) I also got to grab a beer and some dinner with Ryan at Barley's before heading home to finally rest...or bake 8 lbs of Open Sesame granola for Coleen's Frozen Fat Ass run tonight :) And catch up this blog post... Thank you, double shot Americano and steroid drip this morning :)  

And again, Erin takes the cake (if you read the INK article, you'll understand why I love lightning bugs so much):

    

1/13/12-Lucky 13!

-It's Friday the 13th and 13 days from my last round of chemo. Many people and cultures consider 13 to be very unlucky. I don't agree. We really make our own luck, don't we? Besides, I did a little research and there are a lot of people who also share my belief that 13 is a lucky number. Is it coincidence that I'm sending my Life Coach to Brazil today and the one culture where 13 is considered lucky is in Brazil? 

Coperos

The number 13 in the Coperos religion (small culture in Brazil) is like a God number. All coperos must know that this number can save humankind

Maybe I'm grabbing at straws, but I'll take it! I refuse to believe that today is going to be unlucky. I have a GREAT day and night planned and no one is taking that away from me :) Since today just began and the steroids are starting to wear off,  you'll just need to wait to hear all about it. Plus Erin won't send the video until tomorrow and I'd hate for you to miss it :)

So we've got 13 days and 2 rounds until chemo is OVER! Surgery is scheduled for February 20 and I can't wait!! My new year is coming. The day I get my 'cancer free' card. I've used the hell out of the cancer card and I'm ready to throw it in. Thank you to all of you amazing people who are counting down with me. I love you all. I couldn't ask for a better cocoon!! 

xoxo

Shelley