Tuesday, January 17, 2012

On Cloud Nine in Single Digits

'Oh, there's so much I can do with this countdown... cloud nine, 'single' digits... I've been waiting for this for a long time and somehow the words don't do it justice. BUT I'm still going to try :)

I have been feeling under the weather since the high of last week's chemo wore off and to be completely honest, just didn't feel much like blogging. You will thank me because I can promise a much more uplifting blog than if I had attempted this over the past couple days. :) Although I have had amazing people (just read on and you'll see) helping me count down and showing me the love, I can pin the change of heart on one simple statement from this morning...

'Cloud NINE!!! I love you Shelley! xoxoxoxox' 


I'm sure that I'm not the only one who refers to Saturday Night Live's character Debbie Downer when I'm feeling down. I have decided that I am going to make a concerted effort to find a new reference. I've never had a friend named 'Debbie' before, but now that I do, she is the FURTHEST thing from a downer that I've ever known! That statement above is from my friend Debbie. What's crazy is that she sends me stuff like that ALL the time! And she means it!! Thank you Debbie Upper for that warm thought this morning. I love YOU!!! xoxo Now I can blog this countdown with enthusiasm in true Shelley form :) ...


THIRTEEN! Erin thinks I'm stronger than these guys?! Wow! Thanks Erin :)



I'm going to take you back to 13 first because I left you hanging on day 13 last time and it was a SPECTACULAR day!! It brings me full circle to the time in July that I had just gotten the results from the PET scan back showing all clear. What did I do? I ran Coleen's Sweaty Ass run! Soooo...on Friday the 13th, I've got 13 days and 2 rounds of chemo left, what did I do?? I ran Coleen's Frozen Fat Ass run!! As purveyor of the granola for the local running community, it was my duty and obligation to feed the 100+ runners as they froze their asses off running a 3 mile loop from 8pm until 6am Friday night. I also really needed the run, the friendship, the warmth that hanging out with some of my favorite people brings.  So going into the night, I was so amped up that you almost had to peel me off the ceiling. I had no expectations for mileage whatsoever. I knew I'd run until I was done, knowing that my immune system was seriously compromised after having had my 14th round of chemo the previous day. I checked in after one loop, feeling fantastic and knowing that I had at least 3 more miles under my belt.  
Checking in after mile 3

I have to add that although we have had an unseasonably warm winter with temps in the 50's and 60's on a regular basis, we finally got some freezing weather for this run. Thank goodness, too, because with 3 water crossings in 3 miles, it could have been WAY colder running than it was!


On the second loop, I started getting a terrible stomach cramp (and I am blaming this completely on Adam since he is in Brazil and cannot defend himself). I have a new respect for him now, though. He fed me one of his 'famous' bean burritos for lunch that he eats before, DURING, and after ultras. I thought I was going to die so after 6 miles, I called it. How that guy eats those and still performs in a 100 mile race is now even more of a mystery to me! Anyway, I spent the next several hours feeding runners, giggling uncontrollably with a bunch of slap happy friends. Since the run started at 8pm, we were able to count down to 12 at midnight!!  I got a text from Eric at 12 minutes until 12 that read:


"I know this is 12 minutes early but it is getting late and I hope to run a dozen miles tomorrow. 12 can be a pretty nominal unit. After all, that is how they package eggs, pencils, pens, roses, and donuts. But 12 is better than that. It is the amount of months in a year, hours in every morning and days until chemo is done, done, done!" Hell yeah!!!
  
So that set us off on another laughing fit. Chris was as loopy as I've ever seen him and had all the girls in tears. We're now on the lookout for a pair of Lauren's metallic leggings in silver for him to wear at Silver Rush 50mi. And is it 12 or 21? Ask Erin...she's always got the answers!



And I had a Romper Room flashback from the 70's...please forgive my chemo brain in case I forget someone, but I had my little magic mirror out and soaked in all the fabulous people...

I see Coleen, Gary, Erin, Roo, Debbie, Julie, Deb, Stu, Jim, Larry, Chris W, Claire, Wael, Brian B, Larry L, Erica, Indi, Katie, Lauren, Sarah, Amy, Nicole, Brian L, Karen, Bobbi, Micah, Shannon, Chris N, Kevin...I see Beck, Rhonda, Jauqui, Ashley (hotties), Matty and Ashley,  Justin D, Justin and Sarah, Steve and Patsy (yay!), Jeff T, Adam M, Kyle A...I see Honey Badger. Yeah, you heard me. I cuddled up to honey badger because he's a badass...  and although there was no Do-Bee, it was a great night for all :)
Honey badger and me. <3
















Once I woke up after a few hours of post run sleep, I re-read an email sent to me by one of my college roommates, Karen. We were math majors together, but where I long ago lost my math skills, she now teaches them :) :


Twelve is a sublime number, a number that has a perfect number of divisors, and the sum of its divisors is also a perfect number. Since there is a subset of 12's proper divisors that add up to 12 (all of them but with 4 excluded), 12 is a semiperfect number.
Semiperfect! Almost perfect!!
You're almost there. You've got this!!!

I snagged the kids from cp's and we went to Union Station/Crown Center to watch the Lego Robotics competition and (unbeknownst to us upon arrival) the Legoland Master Model Builder competition! It was one of the best days I've had with the kiddos. What an amazing way to celebrate a dozen days left until the last round of chemo! Better than semi-perfect, it was really a perfect day :)

11 days to go!! 
It may come as a huge shock to you, but 2011 was not my best year. I watched one of my closest friends battle breast cancer, was diagnosed with and battled breast cancer, and if that wasn't enough, right before Christmas, my beautiful 25 year old cousin, Katrina had a debilitating stroke. HOWEVER, there were some awesome things that happened too... Kelly beat the big C in 2011 (I'm on my way in 2012, and Katrina is now in rehab and made peanut butter cookies this morning) :), my little sister Lauren became Mrs. Mike Weber in June, Josh started kindergarten in August, I had a GREAT year with my new company, my amazing friend Andy won the Bronze medal in the World Championship 100k in Wischoten, Netherlands, I made some incredible new friends and built stronger friendships with some that I already had. I learned who I can trust in the face of adversity and how to let go of those who need letting go. 2012 will be better but 2011 was full of lessons that will make it even better! So let's countdown 11!!

Gotta love my high school friend Aaron who found the #1 song when we were in 11th grade. Oh yeah, a little Bobby Brown, My Prerogative...  How incredibly apropos... :) Erin added the Sesame Street throwback #11, but Chris hit the nail on the head with some Spinal Tap this time... Most amps go up to ten but this is one louder... If we need that extra push over the cliff, we just go to ELEVEN! I'm pretty sure my internal amp goes to eleven :)



Kelly's awesome cousin, Shanda started counting down with me in numerology...

In numerology, number eleven is considered as a master number. The reason is this number carries as a vibrational frequency of balance. Number Eleven signifies invention, refinement, fulfillment, vision and congruency in a person. In astrology, the number eleven is considered as a magical number that strikes a balance of emotion, thoughts and spirits. 


And of course Eric came through with words to bring me to tears (again!) and reminded me that in 2011, we met for the first time in Colorado while crewing our mutual friend through a grueling 100 miler. The race wasn't what resonated with either of us though. It was the friendships, the small conversations that gave us all the strength to power through the tough times that we were experiencing. He gave me one of the greatest compliments that I have ever gotten so I'd like to share it with you. He said:  


"if anyone could flat out will themselves to overcome an obstacle it would be you.  The strength you portrayed in the face of uncertainly was so, so impressive."


Thank you, Eric. I am so glad that 2011 happened too :) 


Not to go unnoticed, my Aunt Joanne who lives in Knoxville, Tennesssee decided to join in on the fun and has started counting down with the 12 days of Christmas...I love it!!  'Eleven Pipers Piping!'

A Perfect 10!!
 10: Positively, a change in fortune for the better, either monetarily or otherwise. A new step forward on the path of tomorrow. Your destiny. Luck. Old knowledge, especially esoteric or religious, from books. Old souls. Good ventures with those signs in mind. Being in the right place at the right time to grasp opportunities. ~Shanda


The last round number until we get to the roundest and best number of all :) ~Eric


Thanks Chris :) Shawty is a 10ft Fabolous :) 


I felt like complete crap on day 10. There is no way to candy coat this. I had flu-like symptoms with a sore throat and body aches. I know the difference now, though. This is just what it feels like when your immune system is weakened and you have lingering chemo effects. I felt like lying in bed and never getting up. Thankfully, I have two amazing kids who demanded my attention and got me out of bed for a good part of the day. It was 70 degrees in January (in the midwest-REALLY??) and we barely went outside. I just needed a day of resting and taking care of my body. Annika made empanadas for lunch (no joke!) in the cupcake maker Aunt Lauren gave her for Christmas and she made her famous Rachel Ray kids recipe for More-Peas-If-You-Please for dinner. I am the luckiest Mommy alive and thankful for two helpful and snuggly kiddos :) And since day 10 sucked so bad, I'm happy to move on to Cloud Nine!!


10 Lords a Leaping! ~Aunt Joanne


CLOUD NINE!!


For those of you who are exhausted by a tangential conversation with me, you'll be happy to know that I am now bringing it back around to number 9!! :) It's only noon on day #9 so I've got all day to make today AWESOME! I won't be running today because I can tell my body needs rest, but I will be spending the day doing something awesome, of course. And all because Debbie said Cloud Nine :) and Elena said '9- that's it- just 9:) ♥'  Oh and because Erin sent me the best video yet...




I love the Barenaked Ladies :) And yes, feel free to apply that to all areas of my life. In case it was in question, I am as straight as an arrow, but I do love being one of the barenaked ladies :)


'9 Ladies Dancing' their happy dance for me! ~Aunt Joanne :)


And yes, we are now in SINGLE digits!!!! Single. 9 days until chemo is over. Done. And tomorrow, one of my high school friends is flying in from Vermont to count from 8 to 5 with me!! Yay!! 


Thank you all for keeping my spirits up during this countdown. It's exciting and fun, but the 14 rounds of chemo are starting to hit me a little harder each time. I need you more than you realize :)


xoxo


Shelley 

3 comments:

  1. Shelley, I thought to myself, "Surely not. That's not the Shelley I know, is it?", when I saw the story in the pitch at first. Then, as I continued to read the story, I became more and more amazed at the strength and the positive attitude and outlook you have on the crappy things life throws your way. From the amazing friendships along the way to the very intentional way you go about things, I continue to be amazed. Way to go. Way to be positive. Way to live each day as if you are on Cloud 9. Happy 9 Days! Kristi (Larson) Murdock

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  2. I'm finishing up a couple of projects left over from 2011, but then onto new ones. Think about what you want--scarf, hat, leg warmers--first. You can have dibs on any yarn in my stash. ;)
    Beck

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  3. What an amazing countdown!! single digits and so close!!

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